and then two became one.
not like that.
one of my 'most gorgeous guys' told me he likes someone else. it made me sad. But he has been very noble and honourable and is a great guy. I can't complain! I had decided in the two days before this, that i liked the other one more, even though i thought i should be with this one more... so it did help solve half my problems about which guy I should be with.
I still don't know if i should be with the other. But for now at least. I unofficially am. I'm praying about it a lot.
I don't know what I'm doing. And need to be careful.
Please drop some prayers for me!
xx
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
when it rains it pours
Sooooooo I have two of the most gorgeous guys I have ever met KIND OF in my life. It's so confusing.
Both have handsome faces.
1.Short dark and stubbly.
2.Tall, dark and chiseled.
1. Complete gentleman, once of those guys you know will never let you pay for a thing. Who'd drive me back to the dorms from the science rooms so I wouldn't have to walk 200m in the rain. Respectful. Kind and gentle. Though the mostly manly guy I know. This one though, has different values and morals to me. Drinks like no one I've ever seen before. Would rather club than go with me to church. Camping this weekend, some guys were saying "Jesus" about something, and he goes, "Stop taking the Lord's name in vein. It's disrespectful" which I was really impressed by. He also didn't have a moment without a beer in his hand while we were camping, until we were driving back across the beach- without other guys in the car- then he finally was okay with putting it down. Later he felt like he was getting a cold and didn't want a worse headache so he stopped drinking for the night (i was glad). I don't drink at all... it kind of made me feel sad.We both say we don't want a relationship. Me because I don't want to marry someone who doesn't put God first in their life, so there's no point starting a relationship with someone like that.
2. Guy number 2. He has a Christ like heart and I love that about him. All the girls love him 'cause he's gorgeous, talented, and has one of those personalities . I've pondered this a lot. If he was average/ugly would I like him anyway? I can't really answer this for myself... it's something that I can't work out. But I'd say more so than number one if he was average/ugly. He stuffs up, God convicts him of it and he humbles himself and apologises. I respect him a lot for that. He's distracted and I rarely have his attention, as many people fight for it. I'm not willing to fight, but i'm not willing to make no effort. With him it's about the little things he does. The washing of the dishes. The dropping me at girls dorm rather than parking at boys dorm. Guy number two shows no interest further than friendship though, which I respect him for. But am also frustrated by! It could be that there is no interest at all there for him. Or it could be that he is far too honourable to express any interest when he plans on not dating till God says so.
So my options are:
one-to have someone I want, but do not need.
two-to choose to have no one, and hope and pray and trust that if number 2 is not in Gods plans for me that he'll have someone else who loves him as much for me.
three- be "friends" with both and make no decision (what I'm currently doing) until things become more clear.
I don't know what to do, but then I also know what I probably shouldn't do, and obviously I know the trust God option is the best one.
Sometimes knowing what you should or shoudn't do is the easy part.
Following through is the hard part.
But then I'm like, what if number one was put in my life for a reason too?
My mind changes constantly. I don't know what God wants for me to do. I don't know what is right.
I can't follow my heart, because it isn't very reliable.
I can't follow logic, because the plus and minus seem to cancel each other out.
Sometimes I wish for my man drought back... but this is more fun... even if more frustrating!
Both have handsome faces.
1.Short dark and stubbly.
2.Tall, dark and chiseled.
1. Complete gentleman, once of those guys you know will never let you pay for a thing. Who'd drive me back to the dorms from the science rooms so I wouldn't have to walk 200m in the rain. Respectful. Kind and gentle. Though the mostly manly guy I know. This one though, has different values and morals to me. Drinks like no one I've ever seen before. Would rather club than go with me to church. Camping this weekend, some guys were saying "Jesus" about something, and he goes, "Stop taking the Lord's name in vein. It's disrespectful" which I was really impressed by. He also didn't have a moment without a beer in his hand while we were camping, until we were driving back across the beach- without other guys in the car- then he finally was okay with putting it down. Later he felt like he was getting a cold and didn't want a worse headache so he stopped drinking for the night (i was glad). I don't drink at all... it kind of made me feel sad.We both say we don't want a relationship. Me because I don't want to marry someone who doesn't put God first in their life, so there's no point starting a relationship with someone like that.
2. Guy number 2. He has a Christ like heart and I love that about him. All the girls love him 'cause he's gorgeous, talented, and has one of those personalities . I've pondered this a lot. If he was average/ugly would I like him anyway? I can't really answer this for myself... it's something that I can't work out. But I'd say more so than number one if he was average/ugly. He stuffs up, God convicts him of it and he humbles himself and apologises. I respect him a lot for that. He's distracted and I rarely have his attention, as many people fight for it. I'm not willing to fight, but i'm not willing to make no effort. With him it's about the little things he does. The washing of the dishes. The dropping me at girls dorm rather than parking at boys dorm. Guy number two shows no interest further than friendship though, which I respect him for. But am also frustrated by! It could be that there is no interest at all there for him. Or it could be that he is far too honourable to express any interest when he plans on not dating till God says so.
So my options are:
one-to have someone I want, but do not need.
two-to choose to have no one, and hope and pray and trust that if number 2 is not in Gods plans for me that he'll have someone else who loves him as much for me.
three- be "friends" with both and make no decision (what I'm currently doing) until things become more clear.
I don't know what to do, but then I also know what I probably shouldn't do, and obviously I know the trust God option is the best one.
Sometimes knowing what you should or shoudn't do is the easy part.
Following through is the hard part.
But then I'm like, what if number one was put in my life for a reason too?
My mind changes constantly. I don't know what God wants for me to do. I don't know what is right.
I can't follow my heart, because it isn't very reliable.
I can't follow logic, because the plus and minus seem to cancel each other out.
Sometimes I wish for my man drought back... but this is more fun... even if more frustrating!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Pieces
Sometimes it just feels like life is falling apart. I think part of this right now is hormones. But another part is just life.
Decisions made.
Were they right or wrong?
In the past few weeks I've :
-accepted a job
-said no to dating a really cool guy, because I felt like it was the right decision for me spiritually
-offended a friend somehow, not sure how, but don't like the feeling...
-possibly scared someone I like a little, by being too intense.
I stuff up. I try to make the wisest decisions I can. I stuff up. I try to go where I believe God is directing. I stuff up. I try to live life the way he wants. I stuff up.
Thank God that I am saved by grace not by works! I thank God that he has a plan for my life. Because on my own, I'd just screw it all up.
Decisions made.
Were they right or wrong?
In the past few weeks I've :
-accepted a job
-said no to dating a really cool guy, because I felt like it was the right decision for me spiritually
-offended a friend somehow, not sure how, but don't like the feeling...
-possibly scared someone I like a little, by being too intense.
I stuff up. I try to make the wisest decisions I can. I stuff up. I try to go where I believe God is directing. I stuff up. I try to live life the way he wants. I stuff up.
Thank God that I am saved by grace not by works! I thank God that he has a plan for my life. Because on my own, I'd just screw it all up.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Rubbish
I feel like rubbish.
I know a lot of it is hormones rather than reality.
Have that beautiful dull ache that comes as a joy of woman hood.
Have zits popping up to party on my face.
I ate a lot of unhealthy food today.
and spent most the day in bed watching movies rather than exercising.
I started the day, by pre-breaking up with a dude. We were never together... I'm just too loyal and hate even ending a friendship. I think I did the right thing, I just pray that he's okay, and that all this doesn't drive him further from God.
So that's adding to my feeling bummed... It's always nice to know that someone cares about you and would make an effort to spend time with you. Now that someone wont any more... Another person who always fills my life with a little extra joy I barely saw today, not sure if I even spoke a word to him... possibly, but it was meaningless ones.
I love Quality time... and get it so rarely.... God has a plan. And I need to go to sleep before I start pouring my heart onto the internet in my tiredly typed mess of words. I kinda like how it flows though, unfiltered.
I believe if you feel like you have to hide something, you probably shouldn't be doing it.
And right now, I'm back to having nothing to hide.
and I like it.
I know a lot of it is hormones rather than reality.
Have that beautiful dull ache that comes as a joy of woman hood.
Have zits popping up to party on my face.
I ate a lot of unhealthy food today.
and spent most the day in bed watching movies rather than exercising.
I started the day, by pre-breaking up with a dude. We were never together... I'm just too loyal and hate even ending a friendship. I think I did the right thing, I just pray that he's okay, and that all this doesn't drive him further from God.
So that's adding to my feeling bummed... It's always nice to know that someone cares about you and would make an effort to spend time with you. Now that someone wont any more... Another person who always fills my life with a little extra joy I barely saw today, not sure if I even spoke a word to him... possibly, but it was meaningless ones.
I love Quality time... and get it so rarely.... God has a plan. And I need to go to sleep before I start pouring my heart onto the internet in my tiredly typed mess of words. I kinda like how it flows though, unfiltered.
I believe if you feel like you have to hide something, you probably shouldn't be doing it.
And right now, I'm back to having nothing to hide.
and I like it.
Stop this train
I made some stupid decisions recently...
I did learn from them.
Now I'm at the point where I have to stop the train, before it picks up even more carriages and becomes even harder to stop. It's hard to stop it even now since it's heading down hill.
But I know what I want and what I have to do. It just sucks that's all.
I hate hurting people, or going back on my word.
I'm loyal... to a fault.
But I need to be smart about this, as well as follow where I believe God wants me to go.
I need to trust that God does have someone who loves him, out there for me.
That I don't need to just grab whatever I can get because it's available.
It's hard, because it's so nice to feel wanted and desirable... It's been a long time.
But that is NOT enough.
I need and want someone who loves God most of all, and that this effects every aspect of his life. I need someone who makes me laugh and challenges me and makes me grow. Someone who just spending time with fills my heart with a little extra joy...
I know what I have to do... now to force myself to do it.
I did learn from them.
Now I'm at the point where I have to stop the train, before it picks up even more carriages and becomes even harder to stop. It's hard to stop it even now since it's heading down hill.
But I know what I want and what I have to do. It just sucks that's all.
I hate hurting people, or going back on my word.
I'm loyal... to a fault.
But I need to be smart about this, as well as follow where I believe God wants me to go.
I need to trust that God does have someone who loves him, out there for me.
That I don't need to just grab whatever I can get because it's available.
It's hard, because it's so nice to feel wanted and desirable... It's been a long time.
But that is NOT enough.
I need and want someone who loves God most of all, and that this effects every aspect of his life. I need someone who makes me laugh and challenges me and makes me grow. Someone who just spending time with fills my heart with a little extra joy...
I know what I have to do... now to force myself to do it.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Beautiful.
"There is something beautiful about a billion stars held steady by a God who knows what He is doing. (They hang there, the stars, like notes on a page of music, free-form verse, silent mysteries swirling in the blue like jazz.) And as I lay there, it occurred to me that God is up there somewhere. Of course, I had always known He was, but this time I felt it, I realized it, the way a person realizes they are hungry or thirsty. The knowledge of God seeped out of my brain and into my heart."
-Donald Miller
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Stuck Like Glue
This song is so catchy! I love how the video clip takes things to the crazy extreme. It's so clever/ funny!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Faithful
Through every
Pain every tear
There's a God who's been faithful to me
When my strength was all gone
When my heart had no song
Still in love God was faithful to me
Every word He's promised is true
What I thought was impossible
I've Seen my God do
He's been faithful,
faithful to me
looking back,
His love and mercy I see
Though in my heart I have questioned
And failed to believe
He's been faithful, faithful to me
When my heart looked away
The many times I could not pray
Still my God was faithful to me
The days are spent so selfishly
Reaching out for what pleased me
Even then God was faithful to me
Every time I come back to Him
He is waiting for open arms
And I see once again
He's been faithful
Faithful to me
Looking back
He's love and mercy I see
Though in my heart I have questioned
Even failed to believe
Yet he's been faithful, faithful to me
He's been so faithful
Through the storm, through the rain
God is faithful, faithful to me.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Micah
I've been offered a scholarship. It's really cool, because it means I have to work at the school I wanted to work at anyway. So it's nice...
I've just been praying about whether or not to accept it. Everything that I can see/Imagine seems good. Obviously the God of the universe knows things that I cant even imagine and knows the beginning from the end.
I have a tendency to worry and stress about stuff. I've felt a bit far away from God lately, as I know that I've sinned, and even though I've asked for forgiveness, and know that forgivness is the one request that God never denys... I still feel further from him than I have in a long time. So I felt a bit weird praying about it and asking for his blessing and direction in life.
Opened my bible and just read some bits I've highlighted at some previous time in my life...
Micah 7:
7 "But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for GOd my Saviour, my God will hear me.
8 "...Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light"
18-19 "Who is a God like you, who pardons the sin and forgives transgression...you do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us, you will tread our sins underfooot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea!"
Pretty cool. I'm worried about how accepting the scholarship will affect my current attempt at getting centrelink to pay me all the money they said they were going to pay me this year but never did! But hey... It's all a blessing really! I'm wanting to use the money to buy a car, which I'm going to desperately need next year!
I've just been praying about whether or not to accept it. Everything that I can see/Imagine seems good. Obviously the God of the universe knows things that I cant even imagine and knows the beginning from the end.
I have a tendency to worry and stress about stuff. I've felt a bit far away from God lately, as I know that I've sinned, and even though I've asked for forgiveness, and know that forgivness is the one request that God never denys... I still feel further from him than I have in a long time. So I felt a bit weird praying about it and asking for his blessing and direction in life.
Opened my bible and just read some bits I've highlighted at some previous time in my life...
Micah 7:
7 "But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for GOd my Saviour, my God will hear me.
8 "...Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light"
18-19 "Who is a God like you, who pardons the sin and forgives transgression...you do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us, you will tread our sins underfooot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea!"
Pretty cool. I'm worried about how accepting the scholarship will affect my current attempt at getting centrelink to pay me all the money they said they were going to pay me this year but never did! But hey... It's all a blessing really! I'm wanting to use the money to buy a car, which I'm going to desperately need next year!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Cooking
We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink... ~Epicurus
One should eat to live, not live to eat. ~Cicero, Rhetoricorum LV
More die in the United States of too much food than of too little. ~John Kenneth Galbraith, The Affluent Society
He who takes medicine and neglects to diet wastes the skill of his doctors. ~Chinese Proverb
To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~Proverb
Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. ~Author Unknown
People say that losing weight is no walk in the park. When I hear that I think, yeah, that's the problem. ~Chris Adams
Discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons. ~Author Unknown
Don't Quit
When you've eaten too much and you can't write it down
And you feel like the biggest failure in town
When you want to give up just because you gave in
And you forget all about being healthy and thin
It's a moment of truth, it's an attitude change
It's learning new skills to get back in your range
It's telling yourself, "You've done great up till now,
You can take on this challenge and beat it somehow."
It's part of your journey toward reaching your goal,
You're still gonna make it, just stay in control.
To stumble and fall is not a disgrace
If you summon the will to get back in the race.
But often the strugglers when losing their grip
Just throw in the towel and continue to slip
And learn too late when the damage is done
That the race wasn't over, they still could have won.
Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow
But facing each challenge will sure help you grow.
When you're pushed to the limit, just refuse to submit.
If you bite it, you write it .......
BUT DON'T YOU QUIT!
And you feel like the biggest failure in town
When you want to give up just because you gave in
And you forget all about being healthy and thin
It's a moment of truth, it's an attitude change
It's learning new skills to get back in your range
It's telling yourself, "You've done great up till now,
You can take on this challenge and beat it somehow."
It's part of your journey toward reaching your goal,
You're still gonna make it, just stay in control.
To stumble and fall is not a disgrace
If you summon the will to get back in the race.
But often the strugglers when losing their grip
Just throw in the towel and continue to slip
And learn too late when the damage is done
That the race wasn't over, they still could have won.
Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow
But facing each challenge will sure help you grow.
When you're pushed to the limit, just refuse to submit.
If you bite it, you write it .......
BUT DON'T YOU QUIT!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Disses My Family Style
I know, I still haven't posted photos... I will soon.
I'm just lying in bed thinking about how cool my family is. The moments that stand out are the moments we pay each other out, and all end up laughing and me laughing till I cry, then everyone laughing at me for that!
KP (Bro) " ... That came out a bit more retarded than I'd anticipated"
NP (Sis) "that's what mum said when you were born"
RP (me) " hahahahhaaha * tears* hahahahahahaha"
Everyone *point and laugh at me*
Yes very un-pc... I love special people, so mean no offense.
Today at family dinner
NP (Sis) "I always find it weird that people younger than me are married"
RP (Me) "you get used to it..."
KP (Bro) "Hahahahahaha! Best self pay-out ever!"
I'm just lying in bed thinking about how cool my family is. The moments that stand out are the moments we pay each other out, and all end up laughing and me laughing till I cry, then everyone laughing at me for that!
KP (Bro) " ... That came out a bit more retarded than I'd anticipated"
NP (Sis) "that's what mum said when you were born"
RP (me) " hahahahhaaha * tears* hahahahahahaha"
Everyone *point and laugh at me*
Yes very un-pc... I love special people, so mean no offense.
Today at family dinner
NP (Sis) "I always find it weird that people younger than me are married"
RP (Me) "you get used to it..."
KP (Bro) "Hahahahahaha! Best self pay-out ever!"
Sunday, July 10, 2011
WINNERS
My Reds beat the crusaders! HECK YES! I'll upload some photos tomorrow!
in the meantime here's a quote from house that I really like...
in the meantime here's a quote from house that I really like...
“’I’m not going to dump you because we like different food or books or music. On the other hand, I might dump you if you don’t talk to me when you have a problem with our relationship.’ ‘I know you believe that now, the fact is...’ ‘Who cares about common, common is boring. It’s common! I like being with you, you make me better, hopefully I make you better. What we have is uncommon’”
Love baby Love.
WE ARE RED!
Friday, July 8, 2011
June- Kisses & Disses
(it's not june anymore I know... but it's a bit too early to say these are my july kisses and disses!)
Kisses
Disses
Kisses
- my assignments are FINALLY all done
- citrus scented perfumes, lotions etc.
- sunshine on a winters day
- cute feminine aprons
- cook books with photos
- cupcakes
- exercise
- playing around on the piano
- generous parents
- the REDS!
Disses
- the little bit of love that never dies/the fondness that you'll always feel for your ex's. Even though you KNOW you're better off without them.
- ending things before they become a relationship, when you think you probably shouldnt go there, then missing them.
- confusing feelings
- not knowing how other people feel
- crusaders (I hope so much that this is the game that they lose the winning title for the first time in like 8 years!)
- not having heaters in our house.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
65 by 25.
One of my friends has inspired me. She's decided she's not happy with her weight and has faced it publicly on her blog and already lost 5 kg, you go girl!
I've had a battle with my weight since 18. I go up, I go down, and I go back up again. I really think I've managed to completely screw my metabolism. But there is no room for excuses.
My aim is to weigh 65 kilo's by the time I'm 25. Which gives me just under a year to lose ~7kg. This doesn't seem like that much. But the lightest I've been in the last 5 years is about 68kg and that didn't even last long.
How am I going to do it?
a) I will not buy chocolate (the only time I can is when I have a movie night with the boys cos they love their malteasers and popcorn- so i'll share the love and the fat ;-)
b) Try to eat unprocessed foods as much as possible
c) Exercise... I usually do 1.5 hrs exercise a day, so I don't really have time to add anymore to this... but I migh mix it up, by spending some of that in a gym doing weights rather than just walking and running.
d) Don't snack. Unless it's fruit.
I don't want to just get skinny. I want to be healthy, I want to eat healthy and treat my body right. Nutrition is my major. I know what I should and should not eat, yet often it doesn't affect what I do eat. I want people to be able to see how my knowledge of Nutrition affects my life! The biggest thing, is a dont want to be controlled by my appetite. I don't want to be trapped by an addiction to anything, chocolate or otherwise!
Okay that's about it.
"...prepare you minds for action; be self-controlled; set you hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance" ~1Peter 1:13-14.
"For God didn't give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love and of self-discipline" ~2 Timothy 1:7
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of you inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight" 1 Peter 3: 3-4
I've had a battle with my weight since 18. I go up, I go down, and I go back up again. I really think I've managed to completely screw my metabolism. But there is no room for excuses.
My aim is to weigh 65 kilo's by the time I'm 25. Which gives me just under a year to lose ~7kg. This doesn't seem like that much. But the lightest I've been in the last 5 years is about 68kg and that didn't even last long.
How am I going to do it?
a) I will not buy chocolate (the only time I can is when I have a movie night with the boys cos they love their malteasers and popcorn- so i'll share the love and the fat ;-)
b) Try to eat unprocessed foods as much as possible
c) Exercise... I usually do 1.5 hrs exercise a day, so I don't really have time to add anymore to this... but I migh mix it up, by spending some of that in a gym doing weights rather than just walking and running.
d) Don't snack. Unless it's fruit.
I don't want to just get skinny. I want to be healthy, I want to eat healthy and treat my body right. Nutrition is my major. I know what I should and should not eat, yet often it doesn't affect what I do eat. I want people to be able to see how my knowledge of Nutrition affects my life! The biggest thing, is a dont want to be controlled by my appetite. I don't want to be trapped by an addiction to anything, chocolate or otherwise!
Okay that's about it.
"...prepare you minds for action; be self-controlled; set you hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance" ~1Peter 1:13-14.
"For God didn't give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love and of self-discipline" ~2 Timothy 1:7
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of you inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight" 1 Peter 3: 3-4
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
RED
I'm filled with pride and passion.
My team who I've supported through a few years of losing. Has made it to the finals!
There's something about being in a crowd of people 'all' cheering for the one team. It's really cool that a whole lot of people who have nothing in common, can forget all of that and focus on the one thing that they have in common. Hearing the sound of the crowd and knowing that my voice is probably one of the ones contributing to the chant is awesome, it's cool to feel a part of something that so many people are also passionate about. I'm so proud of the boys getting this far especially excited for Saia and Ant! And can't wait until we win. I hope so much that we do, and believe that we can!
I love this old ad. Good to be reminded of how Rugby players can feel, and exciting how Saia and Ant are well known these days... from back then when no one knew them... yet.
WE are QUEENSLAND.
We are RED
this is OUR time!!!
WE ARE RED!
Monday, July 4, 2011
Cup of Tea
This article is by Zoe Foster, I think it's very true... excuse the swearing! So thought I'd repost it for you all to read. I got it from: http://www.mamamia.com.au/relationships/all-women-really-want-is-a-cup-of-fuking-tea/
All women really want is a cup of fu*king tea.
Sorry for the profanity, but not really, because I meant it.
In a survey I performed on 1000 fictional women, 99% of them said the one thing they really wanted in their relationship was for their boyfriend or husband to offer to make them a cup of tea*. And amazingly, these men didn’t even need to make the stinkin’ tea, the offer itself was what was what was important.
At first this might not make sense. But at second it does. You see, no matter the guy, no matter how long we’ve been with him, whether that’s two weeks or two decades, and no matter the state of our relationship, we women will always, always want to feel like our man cares about us enough to offer us that most simple of gestures: a cup of tea. Why, is manifold.
First of all, we all know a cup of tea is the Universal Symbol of Comfort. What do you offer a girlfriend who has just been dumped (provided you are out of Tequila)? A grieving friend? And upset flatmate? A teary workmate? A sick boyfriend? A tired and frazzled mum? A cup of tea. It’s nothing more than some hot water, a mug and some tea leaves (and milk and sugar if they’re being really fancy) but it does so much for the soul to be offered a comforting, soothing drink when you feel like shit (or even when you feel terrific).
A cup of tea is made with generous, nurturing intentions and it is presented with care; it’s the liquid equivalent of a hug.
Then there’s the thoughtfulness element. This is a huge factor; almost big as my love for Haigh’s chocolate when I am pre-menstrual or breathing. It saddens me that thoughtfulness is so spectacularly underrated in relationships, when it is absolutely crucial. Sure, trust, love and a mutual interest in kites are important too, but if you have a strong foundation of authentic thoughtfulness, your relationship has an infinitely better chance of lasting. It does! It does.
Think about it: how much more affection, adoration, gratitude and love (all terribly necessary and marvelously positive in a relationship) are you likely to feel towards your guy if he leaves a little note on your pillow for you to find after spending the night at your place? Or whips up some spag bol when you’ll be getting home late from a murderous day? Or buys you Cosmo at the service station because he knows you love it? Or offers to help your mum figure out why her Internet isn’t working when you’re over there for dinner?
Any man can buy you dinner at a fancy restaurant or present you with impressive foliage on your birthday. It’s the man who hands you a muesli bar as you’re racing out the door without having eaten breakfast or who sends you a beautiful pep-up text just before you walk into a scary meeting who’s special. Thoughtfulness is worth its weight in platinum and if we all put a little more of it into our relationships, chances are we’d all be a lot happier, and probably having more sex too, if I may be so crude.
And this is why that little cup of tea is so special. It demonstrates that he’s thought about your wellbeing, that he cares for you and that he understands that with women it is always, ALWAYS, the little things that make the big difference. And when the cup of tea is not presented? Well, things can get terribly unsavoury.
Case in point: A girlfriend was fluey. After not being offered any form of compassion or concern from her live-in boyfriend for two days, she snapped and asked if he could make her a cup of tea. He silently went to the kitchen to do his task but 30 seconds later she heard, ‘Where’s the tea kept?’. At which point she decided he was a selfish a-hole and consequently instigated a separation. (Yes, she inspired this article.) It wasn’t just the tea that inspired her to end it of course, but in her mind, his failure to offer a cup of tea (let alone fresh orange juice or chicken noodle soup) was symbolic of how little he cared for and about her.
Of course, it needn’t be specifically a cup of tea. It can be anything, but the common theme is that it’s done without obligation or being requested, and it’s done with love. I have a friend, for example, whose boyfriend makes them both an excessively virtuous smoothie each morning. And another whose boyfriend makes little movies on his phone of their 6-month old daughter and emails them to her at work when she’s missing her baby ferociously. To me, these are enormously romantic gestures. And you can bet they’re appreciated. And if you’re the betting type, you can also bet that they’re reciprocated. Because thoughtfulness has a funny way of being contagious, which you will quickly discover should a batch of it find its way into your relationship.
We women are traditionally the nurturing sex, the ones who ensure everyone and everything is happy and okay. We like to care for our lovers, family and friends; it brings us a sense of joy and satisfaction. So when that role is temporarily, gorgeously thieved by our Twinings-wielding boyfriends, and we get to be the one being looked after with a warm cup of The Universal Symbol of Comfort, it feels pretty great. (Just make sure he knows how you like your tea though, because if he puts in too much milk you should obviously dump him immediately.)
*The other 1% preferred Milo.
All women really want is a cup of fu*king tea.
Sorry for the profanity, but not really, because I meant it.
In a survey I performed on 1000 fictional women, 99% of them said the one thing they really wanted in their relationship was for their boyfriend or husband to offer to make them a cup of tea*. And amazingly, these men didn’t even need to make the stinkin’ tea, the offer itself was what was what was important.
At first this might not make sense. But at second it does. You see, no matter the guy, no matter how long we’ve been with him, whether that’s two weeks or two decades, and no matter the state of our relationship, we women will always, always want to feel like our man cares about us enough to offer us that most simple of gestures: a cup of tea. Why, is manifold.
A cup of tea is made with generous, nurturing intentions and it is presented with care; it’s the liquid equivalent of a hug.
Then there’s the thoughtfulness element. This is a huge factor; almost big as my love for Haigh’s chocolate when I am pre-menstrual or breathing. It saddens me that thoughtfulness is so spectacularly underrated in relationships, when it is absolutely crucial. Sure, trust, love and a mutual interest in kites are important too, but if you have a strong foundation of authentic thoughtfulness, your relationship has an infinitely better chance of lasting. It does! It does.
Think about it: how much more affection, adoration, gratitude and love (all terribly necessary and marvelously positive in a relationship) are you likely to feel towards your guy if he leaves a little note on your pillow for you to find after spending the night at your place? Or whips up some spag bol when you’ll be getting home late from a murderous day? Or buys you Cosmo at the service station because he knows you love it? Or offers to help your mum figure out why her Internet isn’t working when you’re over there for dinner?
Any man can buy you dinner at a fancy restaurant or present you with impressive foliage on your birthday. It’s the man who hands you a muesli bar as you’re racing out the door without having eaten breakfast or who sends you a beautiful pep-up text just before you walk into a scary meeting who’s special. Thoughtfulness is worth its weight in platinum and if we all put a little more of it into our relationships, chances are we’d all be a lot happier, and probably having more sex too, if I may be so crude.
And this is why that little cup of tea is so special. It demonstrates that he’s thought about your wellbeing, that he cares for you and that he understands that with women it is always, ALWAYS, the little things that make the big difference. And when the cup of tea is not presented? Well, things can get terribly unsavoury.
Case in point: A girlfriend was fluey. After not being offered any form of compassion or concern from her live-in boyfriend for two days, she snapped and asked if he could make her a cup of tea. He silently went to the kitchen to do his task but 30 seconds later she heard, ‘Where’s the tea kept?’. At which point she decided he was a selfish a-hole and consequently instigated a separation. (Yes, she inspired this article.) It wasn’t just the tea that inspired her to end it of course, but in her mind, his failure to offer a cup of tea (let alone fresh orange juice or chicken noodle soup) was symbolic of how little he cared for and about her.
Of course, it needn’t be specifically a cup of tea. It can be anything, but the common theme is that it’s done without obligation or being requested, and it’s done with love. I have a friend, for example, whose boyfriend makes them both an excessively virtuous smoothie each morning. And another whose boyfriend makes little movies on his phone of their 6-month old daughter and emails them to her at work when she’s missing her baby ferociously. To me, these are enormously romantic gestures. And you can bet they’re appreciated. And if you’re the betting type, you can also bet that they’re reciprocated. Because thoughtfulness has a funny way of being contagious, which you will quickly discover should a batch of it find its way into your relationship.
We women are traditionally the nurturing sex, the ones who ensure everyone and everything is happy and okay. We like to care for our lovers, family and friends; it brings us a sense of joy and satisfaction. So when that role is temporarily, gorgeously thieved by our Twinings-wielding boyfriends, and we get to be the one being looked after with a warm cup of The Universal Symbol of Comfort, it feels pretty great. (Just make sure he knows how you like your tea though, because if he puts in too much milk you should obviously dump him immediately.)
.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
24.
Yesterday was my 24th Birthday.
It was weird.
My first birthday not at home, and not overseas.
Most of my best friends were over seas or in different cities hours away.
Ended up having lunch with a couple friends at their friends house. So that was nice. They sang happy birthday.
Then my other good friends who are in town took me to watch Cars 2 at the drive in movies. Which i wanted to do, it was fun.
But I just can't wait to go home!
I miss you. (if you think I mean you, you might be right, I miss a lot of people right now!)
It was weird.
My first birthday not at home, and not overseas.
Most of my best friends were over seas or in different cities hours away.
Ended up having lunch with a couple friends at their friends house. So that was nice. They sang happy birthday.
Then my other good friends who are in town took me to watch Cars 2 at the drive in movies. Which i wanted to do, it was fun.
But I just can't wait to go home!
I miss you. (if you think I mean you, you might be right, I miss a lot of people right now!)
Monday, June 20, 2011
Eff you Today, Love you Tomorrow
One of my friends made up that line. I hope she one day writes a book on it!
Basically what we mean by it is that often we, as girls, blame ourselves when our guys are in a bad mood. And worry about what we've done. How we can make him happy. Is the relationship going to be okay?
But we've finally come to the realisation: guys have hormones too, and there are other things that make them unhappy and grumpy in life. They can be grumpy, and it has nothing to do with us.
So when they're grumpy and we realise logically that we've done nothing wrong: we just leave them alone to get over their grumpiness and come back and love them the same as normal the next day.
Eff you today, Love you tomorrow.
Basically what we mean by it is that often we, as girls, blame ourselves when our guys are in a bad mood. And worry about what we've done. How we can make him happy. Is the relationship going to be okay?
But we've finally come to the realisation: guys have hormones too, and there are other things that make them unhappy and grumpy in life. They can be grumpy, and it has nothing to do with us.
So when they're grumpy and we realise logically that we've done nothing wrong: we just leave them alone to get over their grumpiness and come back and love them the same as normal the next day.
Eff you today, Love you tomorrow.
Monday, June 13, 2011
L'Oreal
The thing is, There are people who like me for me. People who get to know me and make an effort.
People who I don't think about or care about as often or as much as I do about you.
I think that you're worth it. But I know that I am worth it. If you don't know that, then I'm your loss.
People who I don't think about or care about as often or as much as I do about you.
I think that you're worth it. But I know that I am worth it. If you don't know that, then I'm your loss.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
kusses and dusses
kisses:
- Gospel music
- Spunky kids
- Praising God
- Successful (and enjoyable!) team work
- Talking in cars
- Random piano lessons, where I learnt more in 20 min than I did in a year of 'real' lessons.
- Lying on the floor in the dark, listening to Christian music and letting God have the things I've been gripping with all my might.
- Salsa dancing
- Writing out the words you can't say
- jealousy
- impatience
- distance- emotional
- decisions
- knowing you can't say the things you want to
- feeling left out
- internet that wont let you post photos on your blog
- Knowing the some friends are forever
- Knowing that God has a plan for a future full of hope and peace for the present
- Knowing that I'll never be alone
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Until We Both Know.
Ever thought, that being yourself scares guys away? I finally came to the realisation sometime last year, that this is actually a good thing!
If I scare a guy, better now before we get close than later. I'll be myself and If someone likes that, then that is awesome. If not, good riddance.
This song warms my heart. A Girl I know wrote it, and she sung it to the guy she liked, they were friends and on a walk, and she got out her guitar and sang to him. He said it was really awkward, the awesome part of this story is that they are happily married now. She's just put out a CD with the song on it. It's beautiful. Even the weird scary things we do, wont scare away the one God wants us to be with, if we're letting God lead our lives. And that is cool.
I love the lyrics. I associate a lot with it. Though maybe not quite so intensely. Mine is very early days of friendship, but I have so much respect for him. So I really love the second verse.
"I’m afraid that you don’t know
How much I think the world of you
That I care for you so much
That I try not to so much
But here is my predicament
That you’re not mine, you’re just a friend
So I’ll hold onto my heart
Until we are sure
Chorus:
So lets keep our hearts secure in our Fathers hands
As we seek and pray for His will and His plans
I will always love you as my brother and my friend
To only bless you in this time is my earnest prayer
Until we both know which way to go
I respect you
I know that you’re a child of His
I see how He is making your heart so big
And it is beautiful to me
I love all the things that make up who you are
I love your raw knowing of your need for God
It’s inspiring to me"
Song Title: Until We Both Know
Artist: Melissa Otto
Album: Blue Sky
Lyrics from: http://melissaotto.com/blue-sky-lyrics/lyrics-for-until-we-both-know.html
Listen online at: http://melissaotto.com/melissa-ottos-music/blue-sky-album.html
If I scare a guy, better now before we get close than later. I'll be myself and If someone likes that, then that is awesome. If not, good riddance.
This song warms my heart. A Girl I know wrote it, and she sung it to the guy she liked, they were friends and on a walk, and she got out her guitar and sang to him. He said it was really awkward, the awesome part of this story is that they are happily married now. She's just put out a CD with the song on it. It's beautiful. Even the weird scary things we do, wont scare away the one God wants us to be with, if we're letting God lead our lives. And that is cool.
I love the lyrics. I associate a lot with it. Though maybe not quite so intensely. Mine is very early days of friendship, but I have so much respect for him. So I really love the second verse.
"I’m afraid that you don’t know
How much I think the world of you
That I care for you so much
That I try not to so much
But here is my predicament
That you’re not mine, you’re just a friend
So I’ll hold onto my heart
Until we are sure
Chorus:
So lets keep our hearts secure in our Fathers hands
As we seek and pray for His will and His plans
I will always love you as my brother and my friend
To only bless you in this time is my earnest prayer
Until we both know which way to go
I respect you
I know that you’re a child of His
I see how He is making your heart so big
And it is beautiful to me
I love all the things that make up who you are
I love your raw knowing of your need for God
It’s inspiring to me"
Song Title: Until We Both Know
Artist: Melissa Otto
Album: Blue Sky
Lyrics from: http://melissaotto.com/blue-sky-lyrics/lyrics-for-until-we-both-know.html
Listen online at: http://melissaotto.com/melissa-ottos-music/blue-sky-album.html
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Decisions.
Sometimes it's hard.
Sometimes you have to choose.
Between what feels good and what you can have right now. The fast food of life-It's easy to get and lets be honest, it tastes pretty good. It often makes you feel sick, but it satisfies the hunger at the time, and fills the craving.
Or waiting, holding out, saving your hunger for the best food ever- something like sushi, that you can eat so much of, to the point of being full and still feel healthy and good.
I've been there many times before, literally and metaphorically.
I'm there metaphorically at the moment.
I could get some fast food right now. Someone attractive, nice, a gentleman, available, right here right now. But although that's quite appealing for these reasons. I guess I'm being judgemental to say it, but I think it'd be fast food. Quite appealing on the surface level, but when I think about the things I need in life, I'm pretty sure that isn't it.
Or I can wait. Wait for the kind of guy I think I will have the healthiest life with. The kind of guy who meets my spiritual and emotional nutritional needs. Not just an unhealthy something because I want something. The thing is, I'm not sure how much longer I have to wait...
It's really tempting to snack in the meantime, but I know what I need to do to have the healthiest and best life. I don't want to ruin my appetite...
I will wait. I will wait. I will wait.
Psalms 27:14
"Wait on the Lord
Be of good courage
And he shall strengthen your heart
Wait I say on the Lord, wait I say on the Lord"
Peace. x.
Sometimes you have to choose.
Between what feels good and what you can have right now. The fast food of life-It's easy to get and lets be honest, it tastes pretty good. It often makes you feel sick, but it satisfies the hunger at the time, and fills the craving.
Or waiting, holding out, saving your hunger for the best food ever- something like sushi, that you can eat so much of, to the point of being full and still feel healthy and good.
I've been there many times before, literally and metaphorically.
I'm there metaphorically at the moment.
I could get some fast food right now. Someone attractive, nice, a gentleman, available, right here right now. But although that's quite appealing for these reasons. I guess I'm being judgemental to say it, but I think it'd be fast food. Quite appealing on the surface level, but when I think about the things I need in life, I'm pretty sure that isn't it.
Or I can wait. Wait for the kind of guy I think I will have the healthiest life with. The kind of guy who meets my spiritual and emotional nutritional needs. Not just an unhealthy something because I want something. The thing is, I'm not sure how much longer I have to wait...
It's really tempting to snack in the meantime, but I know what I need to do to have the healthiest and best life. I don't want to ruin my appetite...
I will wait. I will wait. I will wait.
Psalms 27:14
"Wait on the Lord
Be of good courage
And he shall strengthen your heart
Wait I say on the Lord, wait I say on the Lord"
Peace. x.
Quotes of the day...
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.
Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.
Friday, May 27, 2011
I Don't Need a Man
I don't need a man.
I have a supportive family, a God that loves and cares for me and a brain.
I don't need a man to be my protector or my provider.
I will go out and I will do what God calls me to do. I believe that he will provide for my needs, and that God will take care of me. I'm not worried about how I'll survive financially, or if I'll be safe. I'm confident in who I am, in who God made me to be. And even the times when I don't feel confident, I force myself to pretend that I am. I have moments of worry, where I remind myself of who made me, or who cares for me and how he's came through every single time in the past.
I don't understand why a girl not needing a guy, can scare guys away.
I don't need a man to give me money, keep me safe or complete me.
But I want a man (no rush, all in God's time). And I will need him... just not in the stereotypical ways.
I will need him to spend quality time with me, to listen to me, to expose my heart and mind to, to walk through life and walk closer to God together with, I will need him to hug me when our world falls apart. I will need him to stand next to me as my equal, and to hold my hand. I will need him for love.
Thats all.
And I want to be needed for that too...
"I don't need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don't need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete...
You know I got my own life
And I bought everything that's in it
So if you want to be with me
It ain't all about the bling you bringing
I want a love that's for real
And without that then no deal..."
I have a supportive family, a God that loves and cares for me and a brain.
I don't need a man to be my protector or my provider.
I will go out and I will do what God calls me to do. I believe that he will provide for my needs, and that God will take care of me. I'm not worried about how I'll survive financially, or if I'll be safe. I'm confident in who I am, in who God made me to be. And even the times when I don't feel confident, I force myself to pretend that I am. I have moments of worry, where I remind myself of who made me, or who cares for me and how he's came through every single time in the past.
I don't understand why a girl not needing a guy, can scare guys away.
I don't need a man to give me money, keep me safe or complete me.
But I want a man (no rush, all in God's time). And I will need him... just not in the stereotypical ways.
I will need him to spend quality time with me, to listen to me, to expose my heart and mind to, to walk through life and walk closer to God together with, I will need him to hug me when our world falls apart. I will need him to stand next to me as my equal, and to hold my hand. I will need him for love.
Thats all.
And I want to be needed for that too...
"I don't need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don't need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete...
You know I got my own life
And I bought everything that's in it
So if you want to be with me
It ain't all about the bling you bringing
I want a love that's for real
And without that then no deal..."
Monday, May 23, 2011
Summer in my heart.
I'm so full of joy lately.
It's like it's always summer in my heart.
I was pondering life, human interactions, friendship, love, God etc. today as I wandered from uni to the train station and as I watched life speed by out the window of the train.
I was wondering how you know when someone is "the one" and then I thought, "I dunno if he's the one for me, but I know that you are God." So I'm not saying I'm going to go become a nun. Hell no.
But I am saying that it is really cool, not worrying: is something going to happen? is nothing going to happen ? did I do something wrong? Oh he's hanging out with her and not me, what is going on?
When God is my number one 'man' in my life, and he's got control of my life and wants the best for me, and actually knows what is best for me! (unlike me who wants something one day, only to discover later on that it's not so great!) has got it under control. I can open my hands and let go of all the stress.
My worries can drift away in the breeze. It's cool...
I'm just laying out in the sunshine, cause it's summer in my heart.
It's like it's always summer in my heart.
I was pondering life, human interactions, friendship, love, God etc. today as I wandered from uni to the train station and as I watched life speed by out the window of the train.
I was wondering how you know when someone is "the one" and then I thought, "I dunno if he's the one for me, but I know that you are God." So I'm not saying I'm going to go become a nun. Hell no.
But I am saying that it is really cool, not worrying: is something going to happen? is nothing going to happen ? did I do something wrong? Oh he's hanging out with her and not me, what is going on?
When God is my number one 'man' in my life, and he's got control of my life and wants the best for me, and actually knows what is best for me! (unlike me who wants something one day, only to discover later on that it's not so great!) has got it under control. I can open my hands and let go of all the stress.
My worries can drift away in the breeze. It's cool...
I'm just laying out in the sunshine, cause it's summer in my heart.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
hormones, trantrums and life in general...
I'm grumpy, mad, sad, disappointed, annoyed, discouraged, overwhelmed... I could go on. I hope I'm hormonal, because then at least I'd have a pysiological reason for why I feel like I do right now.
My job description just got changed, apparently we're not allowed to: eat, listen to music or watch movies, while on reception- except for on a Saturday night. This makes me MAD. My inner rebel hates being told what to do. I believe in keeping the rules if I can see any logical reason for them. But I can't. As long as I do complete all of my responsibilities well, what right do they have to tell me what to do in the moments when nothing at all is happening. Sorry but BITE ME.
I still have 2 and a bit assignments looming over me... which is the real problem. I hate how much I suck at maths and using excell... Sometimes I really hate science, this is one of those times. But I need to put on my big girl pants and get in and do it, and stop thinking how much I want to throw a tantrum on the floor.
Life is busy but good... I'm going on a motorbike ride with a friend tomorrow. Should be fun, I'm a bit scared though! Anyway... I'm going to go for a walk, have some more caffeine... then do this darn assignment!
Even though I've just complained about everything. God is Good, and even though I feel all these bad emotions, ultimately I still have joy in my heart, cos I know that Jesus cares about me and that he's got my back.
My job description just got changed, apparently we're not allowed to: eat, listen to music or watch movies, while on reception- except for on a Saturday night. This makes me MAD. My inner rebel hates being told what to do. I believe in keeping the rules if I can see any logical reason for them. But I can't. As long as I do complete all of my responsibilities well, what right do they have to tell me what to do in the moments when nothing at all is happening. Sorry but BITE ME.
I still have 2 and a bit assignments looming over me... which is the real problem. I hate how much I suck at maths and using excell... Sometimes I really hate science, this is one of those times. But I need to put on my big girl pants and get in and do it, and stop thinking how much I want to throw a tantrum on the floor.
Life is busy but good... I'm going on a motorbike ride with a friend tomorrow. Should be fun, I'm a bit scared though! Anyway... I'm going to go for a walk, have some more caffeine... then do this darn assignment!
Even though I've just complained about everything. God is Good, and even though I feel all these bad emotions, ultimately I still have joy in my heart, cos I know that Jesus cares about me and that he's got my back.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
My Ebenezer
I'm in bed. It's 1.13am. I have to get up in 5hrs 45 min and fly back to college.
I've been lying here thinking. Sometimes you feel like you need to write out your mind. This is one of those times, so out comes the iPhone and here I am. So excuse my spelling mistakes and typos.
I've been thinking about God's will for my life. And how easy it is to say that I want his will to be done no matter what, until his will and my will oppose. I want God's will o become my will. I know he knows best. I've seen it so many times. Thehardest part is the moments where you don't get your way and you can't yet see or understand why God's way, this time, is so much better for you and his purpose for you than you could ever hope or dream.
It's these moments where I have to get out my metaphorical ebenezer and look at the things God has done for me in the past, the times when by him saying no to my desires that he's blessed me. "some of God's greatest gifts, are unanswered prayers" and I know that's been true many times looking back on my life I've said, "oh thank God we never got together, I had such a crush on him... What the heck was I thinking?"
I know God has been there for me in the past. And I know he'll be there in my future.I pray that I will only desire his will and that I'll be satisfied and trust him no matte what happens.
I pray for
Paitience and for
Peace.
"take my heart, lord will you take my heart. Until you move me I'll be still... You hold my world in your hands"
I've been lying here thinking. Sometimes you feel like you need to write out your mind. This is one of those times, so out comes the iPhone and here I am. So excuse my spelling mistakes and typos.
I've been thinking about God's will for my life. And how easy it is to say that I want his will to be done no matter what, until his will and my will oppose. I want God's will o become my will. I know he knows best. I've seen it so many times. Thehardest part is the moments where you don't get your way and you can't yet see or understand why God's way, this time, is so much better for you and his purpose for you than you could ever hope or dream.
It's these moments where I have to get out my metaphorical ebenezer and look at the things God has done for me in the past, the times when by him saying no to my desires that he's blessed me. "some of God's greatest gifts, are unanswered prayers" and I know that's been true many times looking back on my life I've said, "oh thank God we never got together, I had such a crush on him... What the heck was I thinking?"
I know God has been there for me in the past. And I know he'll be there in my future.I pray that I will only desire his will and that I'll be satisfied and trust him no matte what happens.
I pray for
Paitience and for
Peace.
"take my heart, lord will you take my heart. Until you move me I'll be still... You hold my world in your hands"
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
I would say no if...
I wrote this a few years ago now...
I'm in the process of deleting my Myspace account... so walked down memory lane a bit, reading my old blogs and stuff... man I have written a lot of rubbish in the past (and probably still am writing a lot of rubbish! haha) but this part I found to be entertainging and relevant still... so thought I'd share it on here.
My friends and I were discussing this just a few weeks ago, how we all think that we would say no if asked with the 'wrong' colour gold ring.
So most of you know, I don't necessarily know what I want in life, but i sure know exactly what i don't want.
With so many of my friends getting engaged/married lately, it has been a hard topic to avoid thinking of, so at many moments i've thought, "if someone proposed to me like that i'd say no." Now is a safe time for me to write this since i'm completely single, so no one can think that i'm hinting at anything!
Here's the ones I can remember, the list will grow as I remember/think of new ones.
If i loved the guy (which I sure hope I would, if I'd stayed with him long enough to get to the proposal point!) I'd like to think I would overlook it if he didn't propose in a way that I'd like. But I also like to think, if they guy truely knew me, he would know the kind of things I like/don't like. I know one of my ex's sure knows my hate for the cliche but how I still like a bit of romance, and if he can, whoever my futrure-one-day husband will be should learn too.
I would say no, if...
1) they proposed to me in a hot air balloon.
2) they proposed to me in a ferris wheel
3) if they bought me a white gold ring.
4) if they proposed to me before at least one of us had finished studying
5) if they proposed to me before going overseas or far away from me for a long peroid of time
6) if we'd been together less than 6 months (definite no, less than a year is a probably no).
7) if i was proposed to at christmas
8) If I was proposed to at some sporting even or in front of many many people. (maybe i wouldnt say no right then, for fear of humiliating the guy infront of everyone, but i wouldn't be happy about being put in that situation]
9) If he couldn't afford to buy me a ring. Save up dude. Seriously. it doesnt have to cost thousands and thousands of dollars, but i think its a bit cheap if its bought on ebay for a couple hundred. I think close to $1000 is reasonable, I mean it's meant to be the one piece of jewelry that you will wear forever. If you can't afford a ring, you can't afford to get married. (the only exception to this, would be if the world turns to a huge huge mess, and no one can afford anything especially not gold...)
[2011 Ranece- I'm not entirely sure if I agree with my past self. Obviously I like the idea of a pretty ring one day, but I'm also challenged by this concept http://bestronglovemuch.blogspot.com/2010/10/with-this-ring.html]
10. If it was on valentines day.
I'm in the process of deleting my Myspace account... so walked down memory lane a bit, reading my old blogs and stuff... man I have written a lot of rubbish in the past (and probably still am writing a lot of rubbish! haha) but this part I found to be entertainging and relevant still... so thought I'd share it on here.
My friends and I were discussing this just a few weeks ago, how we all think that we would say no if asked with the 'wrong' colour gold ring.
I Would Say No If... (4 Feb 2009)
So most of you know, I don't necessarily know what I want in life, but i sure know exactly what i don't want.
With so many of my friends getting engaged/married lately, it has been a hard topic to avoid thinking of, so at many moments i've thought, "if someone proposed to me like that i'd say no." Now is a safe time for me to write this since i'm completely single, so no one can think that i'm hinting at anything!
Here's the ones I can remember, the list will grow as I remember/think of new ones.
If i loved the guy (which I sure hope I would, if I'd stayed with him long enough to get to the proposal point!) I'd like to think I would overlook it if he didn't propose in a way that I'd like. But I also like to think, if they guy truely knew me, he would know the kind of things I like/don't like. I know one of my ex's sure knows my hate for the cliche but how I still like a bit of romance, and if he can, whoever my futrure-one-day husband will be should learn too.
I would say no, if...
1) they proposed to me in a hot air balloon.
2) they proposed to me in a ferris wheel
3) if they bought me a white gold ring.
4) if they proposed to me before at least one of us had finished studying
5) if they proposed to me before going overseas or far away from me for a long peroid of time
6) if we'd been together less than 6 months (definite no, less than a year is a probably no).
7) if i was proposed to at christmas
8) If I was proposed to at some sporting even or in front of many many people. (maybe i wouldnt say no right then, for fear of humiliating the guy infront of everyone, but i wouldn't be happy about being put in that situation]
9) If he couldn't afford to buy me a ring. Save up dude. Seriously. it doesnt have to cost thousands and thousands of dollars, but i think its a bit cheap if its bought on ebay for a couple hundred. I think close to $1000 is reasonable, I mean it's meant to be the one piece of jewelry that you will wear forever. If you can't afford a ring, you can't afford to get married. (the only exception to this, would be if the world turns to a huge huge mess, and no one can afford anything especially not gold...)
[2011 Ranece- I'm not entirely sure if I agree with my past self. Obviously I like the idea of a pretty ring one day, but I'm also challenged by this concept http://bestronglovemuch.blogspot.com/2010/10/with-this-ring.html]
10. If it was on valentines day.
Monday, April 25, 2011
My Love, My Life
I'm extrememly tallented at weirding people out. For a while... a long while. I kept me hidden, shrouded in my shyness.
But over time I realised, I like people for their weirdness... and if people don't like me for my weirdness then that is their loss.
But I do need to relax a lot more, and try not to always plan everything, because having everything planned means I often rely on my own intellect and logic for my decision making- rather than remembering to ask God.
I want God's will to be done in my life most importantly. I really like this song at the moment. I've been thinking lately about all the things I need to surrender to God. My dreams for the future, My career, My money, My time, My friendships, My relationships. Thats probably my biggest one. I know that in the past I've liked guys that I thought were perfect, only to discover a while later that he was really really not right for me, and that it was a good thing that it never worked out. But then I'll like someone new and want it to 'work out so bad'. I know God knows best for me, and I trust in him. So I want to stop caring about all that, and trust his plan for my life. I have moments of faith where this is easier and moments where it is not.
I love this song.
"My heart, my mind, my soul, belong to you.
My love, my life, it all belongs to you.
Belongs to you.
Belongs to you.
My heart, my mind, my soul, belong to you.
My love, my life, it all belongs to you.
Belongs to you.
Belongs to you.
The songs we sing,they all belong to you.
The air I breathe, it all belongs to you.
Belongs to you.
Belongs to you.
Yes, I surrender it all.
Yes, I turn it all over.
Yes, It all belongs to you.
Yes, I surrender it all.
Yes, I turn it all over.
Yes, It all belongs to you.
It all belongs to you.
It all belongs to you.
My heart, my mind, my soul, belongs to you
My love, my life, it all belongs to you.
It all belongs to you..."
But over time I realised, I like people for their weirdness... and if people don't like me for my weirdness then that is their loss.
The fact that I plan ahead, and over think everything can weird people out, that when I feel like giving a gift I do, my blunt honesty also weirds people out. I like to be upfront and I like to plan. The part that no one sees though is that although I plan, I don't like to be locked in. So although I may have long range 'plans' there is also always multiple escape routes planned if I don't want that to happen.
But I do need to relax a lot more, and try not to always plan everything, because having everything planned means I often rely on my own intellect and logic for my decision making- rather than remembering to ask God.
I want God's will to be done in my life most importantly. I really like this song at the moment. I've been thinking lately about all the things I need to surrender to God. My dreams for the future, My career, My money, My time, My friendships, My relationships. Thats probably my biggest one. I know that in the past I've liked guys that I thought were perfect, only to discover a while later that he was really really not right for me, and that it was a good thing that it never worked out. But then I'll like someone new and want it to 'work out so bad'. I know God knows best for me, and I trust in him. So I want to stop caring about all that, and trust his plan for my life. I have moments of faith where this is easier and moments where it is not.
I love this song.
"My heart, my mind, my soul, belong to you.
My love, my life, it all belongs to you.
Belongs to you.
Belongs to you.
My heart, my mind, my soul, belong to you.
My love, my life, it all belongs to you.
Belongs to you.
Belongs to you.
The songs we sing,they all belong to you.
The air I breathe, it all belongs to you.
Belongs to you.
Belongs to you.
Yes, I surrender it all.
Yes, I turn it all over.
Yes, It all belongs to you.
Yes, I surrender it all.
Yes, I turn it all over.
Yes, It all belongs to you.
It all belongs to you.
It all belongs to you.
My heart, my mind, my soul, belongs to you
My love, my life, it all belongs to you.
It all belongs to you..."
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Stressed
I feel so overwhelmed right now. I feel like I'm drowning under a never ending supply of lab reports. It would be okay If I was getting good grades for all the time I'm putting into them, but not even that is happening. (Granted I've only got one back so far... but I only got 5.7/10 for it! Terrible).
I really should be doing 2 days a week at my placement, so far I've just been doing one and can't even keep up with all my work. I need to be able to exercise and have a spiritual life and some level of a social life as well.
I'm stressing out. I know God will somehow get me through it.
I really should be doing 2 days a week at my placement, so far I've just been doing one and can't even keep up with all my work. I need to be able to exercise and have a spiritual life and some level of a social life as well.
I'm stressing out. I know God will somehow get me through it.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Hard to Get
I suck at playing games.
I'm no good at playing hard to get.
I'm not easy to get, most people don't have a chance, getting ruled out in an instant.
I know what I want and when I happen to see someone that fits that. It's a rare moment.
I think I know what I need.
but on top of all that, above it all,.
I know that I want to do Gods will.
I want someone who loves God.
So I know that even though I am the worst at playing hard to get.
Whoever I end up with I wont have to play games or pretend to be someone I'm not to get.
I'll just be me.
I know that God has got whoever, wherever, whenever for me.
And I'm okay with that.
I'm no good at playing hard to get.
I'm not easy to get, most people don't have a chance, getting ruled out in an instant.
I know what I want and when I happen to see someone that fits that. It's a rare moment.
I think I know what I need.
but on top of all that, above it all,.
I know that I want to do Gods will.
I want someone who loves God.
So I know that even though I am the worst at playing hard to get.
Whoever I end up with I wont have to play games or pretend to be someone I'm not to get.
I'll just be me.
I know that God has got whoever, wherever, whenever for me.
And I'm okay with that.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
:)
:)
When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don’t feel them shining
When I can’t see beyond my doubt
The silver lining
When I’ve almost reached the end
Like a flood You’re rushing in
Love is rushing in
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don’t feel them shining
When I can’t see beyond my doubt
The silver lining
When I’ve almost reached the end
Like a flood You’re rushing in
Love is rushing in
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
Saturday, March 26, 2011
heartsong
In late 2006. I wrote a prayer in my journal... it's sort of a poem prayer... I don't know. It's the prayer of my heart. Of my life. I often don't think of it, go on with life, and then I get to a point where my heart cries out to God so much louder than it has in a long time, again, and this is what it says,
"Dear God,
To you, I leave my worry, and with that I leave my stress.
To you, I give my heart, and with that my love and confusion.
To you, I give my future, my problems and my plans.
Take me Lord, and lead me. Uphold me Lord,
Protect me.Comfort me. Guide me.
Lead me, with Your righteous right hand.
I give you everything.
Give me faith, help me stand."
It's a little bit similar to Psalms 25.
"Dear God,
To you, I leave my worry, and with that I leave my stress.
To you, I give my heart, and with that my love and confusion.
To you, I give my future, my problems and my plans.
Take me Lord, and lead me. Uphold me Lord,
Protect me.Comfort me. Guide me.
Lead me, with Your righteous right hand.
I give you everything.
Give me faith, help me stand."
It's a little bit similar to Psalms 25.
Friday, March 18, 2011
I'll say it Loud
I got myself into quite a bit of trouble once.I borrowed one of my new guy friends jumpers, he wore this amazing cologne. I ended up smelling like it after i'd given his jumper back, and happened to be silly enough to say so on facebook. He took it as a sign that I was into him, it didn't end so well.
I was in love with the smell, rather than the guy (seriously guys, I'm not telling your what cologne he wore because Oh my goodness, it is amazing! Pretty much any guy wearing it- is like a flower to me- I am the bee!)
The point of my rambling is this. Tonight I was somewhere, and a well muscled male was playing a piano. And I was thinking about things like that, things that make a guy seem more attractive than normal so here they are:
I was in love with the smell, rather than the guy (seriously guys, I'm not telling your what cologne he wore because Oh my goodness, it is amazing! Pretty much any guy wearing it- is like a flower to me- I am the bee!)
The point of my rambling is this. Tonight I was somewhere, and a well muscled male was playing a piano. And I was thinking about things like that, things that make a guy seem more attractive than normal so here they are:
- When he smells good (doesn't have to be always, but for special occasions get out the cologne please) If you want to know my secret "catnip" cologne, then let me know. There is a male at college who is well known by the ladies as the guy who smells good. We like it.
- Guys that are smart, but not ones who think they know everything and that they are act like you are stupid compared to them. It's even better when they are funny and intelligent.
- Guys that are adventurous outdoors, but not stupid risk takers. Smart skilled ruggard tough. Yes please. Protect me in the bush. I don't need a guy to protect me in every day life, but I want one who I'll feel safe with doing the extreme stuff I always want to do, but are often a little to scared to do.
- Manly man doing, stereotypically less manly stuff. I think that the only thing more hot than a man in an apron, is a muscly man holding a baby (obviously, I'd prefer the baby be a niece/nephew/borrowed)
- Guys that make the effort to dress a bit more manly and a bit less little boy, for slightly special occasions, such as going out to tea, church, etc.
- Guys who are gentlemen. Who ever said that ladies don't like chivalry anymore, probably hasn't got any in a long time. They were very wrong, most ladies love it. A guy who holds doors, lets you walk in front of him, and sometimes offers to pay. It goes a long way.
- Guys who are kind hearted and generous. Mmm...
- Guys who can play an instrument, can I get an amen?
- Guys who are man enough to make the first move and pursue! I know a lot of girls agree with me here.
- Guys who love God.The most important trait for me.
Aorta for a Quarter
This is so clever. I love the point, the bible links and how she gets all nerdy at the end!
“So it seemed, that it was cool, so cool, for everyone to be in a relationship but me. So I took matters into my own hands and ended up with him. Him who displayed the characteristics of a cheater, a liar, an abuser, and a thief. So why was I surprised when he broke into my heart? I called 911, but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting ‘cause it was me who let him in. Claiming we were “just friends.”
It was already decided for me by the first date, that even if he wasn’t, I was gonna make him “The One.” You know, I was tired of being alone. And I simply made up in my mind, that it was about that time so I decided to drag him along for the ride. ‘Cause I was always the bridesmaid and never the bride. A virgin in the physical, but mentally, just a grown woman on the corner in heat. Who was tired of the wait. So I was gonna make him “The One.”
He had a form of Godliness, but not much. But but hey, hey, I can change him! So, I’ll take him. I mean, he’s close, enough. Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter, not knowing the value of it’s use to me. Arteries so clogged with my will, it blocked his will from flowing through me. So I thank Christ that his blood pressure gave this heart an attack that flat-lined my obscured vision put me flat on my back. Through my ignorance he saw, I said through my sternum he sawed and cracked open my chest to transplant psalms 51:10. A new heart and a renewed right spirit within. So now I fully understand. Better yet, I thoroughly comprehend, how much I need to wait for you.
See the bad thing is that I knew he wasn't you from the beginning because in the beginning was the word and he didnt even sound or shine like your Son. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, and all he could whisper was sweet, empty nothings – which meant “nothing.”
See the bad thing is that I knew he wasn't you from the beginning because in the beginning was the word and he didnt even sound or shine like your Son. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, and all he could whisper was sweet, empty nothings – which meant “nothing.”
He couldn't even pray when I needed him to. Asking him to fast would be absurd so forget about being clensed and washed with water from the word. But I know you, you were already praying for me. even having never met me, let me assure you I will wait for you.
I will no longer date, socialise or communicate with carbon copies of you. To appease my boredom or to quench my thirstiness I have for attention. And short-lived compliments from “sorta kindas.” You know, he sorta kinda’ right, but “sorta kinda” wrong? His first name Luke. His last name Warm.
I, I won’t settle for false companionship. I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms, attempting to find some closeness. But never feeling so far apart cause, I just wanna be held. ‘Cause “all I gotta do is say, ” No! No more “almost sessions” of “almost coming close.”
Passing winks and buying drinks and i'mma i'mma flirt. Who flirts with the ideology of can you just tell me how much i can get away with and still be saved. No more. I'll stay in my bed, alone and write poems about how I will wait for you.
He wont even come close. Our fingers wont even interlock. We wont even exchange breath because I have thoughts that I've saved as in a file that God equips only you to open. I will no longer get weighed down from so called "friends" and family talks about concern for my biological clock, when I serve The Author of Time.
Who is NOT subject to time, But I’M subject to Him, He has the ability to STOP, FAST FORWARD, PAUSE, or REWIND at any given time…So if we could role play, You would be Abraham & I would be Sara Or you can be Isaac & I can be Rebecca – a servant’s answered prayer I am bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh, Made up of your rib Adam!
Passing winks and buying drinks and i'mma i'mma flirt. Who flirts with the ideology of can you just tell me how much i can get away with and still be saved. No more. I'll stay in my bed, alone and write poems about how I will wait for you.
He wont even come close. Our fingers wont even interlock. We wont even exchange breath because I have thoughts that I've saved as in a file that God equips only you to open. I will no longer get weighed down from so called "friends" and family talks about concern for my biological clock, when I serve The Author of Time.
Who is NOT subject to time, But I’M subject to Him, He has the ability to STOP, FAST FORWARD, PAUSE, or REWIND at any given time…So if we could role play, You would be Abraham & I would be Sara Or you can be Isaac & I can be Rebecca – a servant’s answered prayer I am bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh, Made up of your rib Adam!
And once we meet, like electrons, I will be bound to your nucleus, completely indivisible atom. We even speak the same math: 1 + 1 + 1 = 3, which really equals 1 if you add Him.
We were all created in His image, But you have the ability to reflect, project & even detect the Son. If I were to explain what you looked like, You would have to look like a star, A son of the Son.. I would gain energy simply from the light on me. I would need you , in order to complete my photosynthesis. I await your revelation, but once again from the genesis, I will wait for you ♥
And I will know you… because when you speak I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,
Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,
Your faith will remind me of Abraham,
Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,
Your inspiration will remind me of Paul,
Your heart for God will remind me of David,
Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,
Your integrity will remind me of Joseph,
And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,
But Your ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of Christ.
Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,
Your faith will remind me of Abraham,
Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,
Your inspiration will remind me of Paul,
Your heart for God will remind me of David,
Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,
Your integrity will remind me of Joseph,
And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,
But Your ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of Christ.
But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews or any special Marks,
Cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.
And you will know me, and you will find me,
Where… the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.
Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary,
Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna.
I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… waiting for you.
Cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.
And you will know me, and you will find me,
Where… the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.
Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary,
Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna.
I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… waiting for you.
But to my Father, my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth
Only if you should see fit…
I desire Your will above mine,
So even if you call me to a life of singleness,
My heart is content with YOU – the One who was sent.
YOU are the greatest love story ever told,
The greatest story ever known
You are forever my judge & I’m forever Your witness
And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business
Oh, I will always be Yours!
And I will always wait for You Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning…
More than the watchmen wait for the morning… I WILL WAIT."
Only if you should see fit…
I desire Your will above mine,
So even if you call me to a life of singleness,
My heart is content with YOU – the One who was sent.
YOU are the greatest love story ever told,
The greatest story ever known
You are forever my judge & I’m forever Your witness
And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business
Oh, I will always be Yours!
And I will always wait for You Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning…
More than the watchmen wait for the morning… I WILL WAIT."
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