I made some stupid decisions recently...
I did learn from them.
Now I'm at the point where I have to stop the train, before it picks up even more carriages and becomes even harder to stop. It's hard to stop it even now since it's heading down hill.
But I know what I want and what I have to do. It just sucks that's all.
I hate hurting people, or going back on my word.
I'm loyal... to a fault.
But I need to be smart about this, as well as follow where I believe God wants me to go.
I need to trust that God does have someone who loves him, out there for me.
That I don't need to just grab whatever I can get because it's available.
It's hard, because it's so nice to feel wanted and desirable... It's been a long time.
But that is NOT enough.
I need and want someone who loves God most of all, and that this effects every aspect of his life. I need someone who makes me laugh and challenges me and makes me grow. Someone who just spending time with fills my heart with a little extra joy...
I know what I have to do... now to force myself to do it.
ps. i manned up, sent the darned text and told him no, i don't want to go out with him.
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