Rubbish

I feel like rubbish.
I know a lot of it is hormones rather than reality.
Have that beautiful dull ache that comes as a joy of woman hood.
Have zits popping up to party on my face.
I ate a lot of unhealthy food today.
and spent most the day in bed watching movies rather than exercising.
I started the day, by pre-breaking up with a dude. We were never together... I'm just too loyal and hate even ending a friendship. I think I did the right thing, I just pray that he's okay, and that all this doesn't drive him further from God.
So that's adding to my feeling bummed... It's always nice to know that someone cares about you and would make an effort to spend time with you. Now that someone wont any more... Another person who always fills my life with a little extra joy I barely saw today, not sure if I even spoke a word to him... possibly, but it was meaningless ones.
I love Quality time... and get it so rarely.... God has a plan. And I need to go to sleep before I start pouring my heart onto the internet in my tiredly typed mess of words. I kinda like how it flows though, unfiltered.
I believe if you feel like you have to hide something, you probably shouldn't be doing it.
And right now, I'm back to having nothing to hide.
and I like it.