24.

Yesterday was my 24th Birthday.
It was weird.
My first birthday not at home, and not overseas.
Most of my best friends were over seas or in different cities hours away.
Ended up having lunch with a couple friends at their friends house. So that was nice. They sang happy birthday.
Then my other good friends who are in town took me to watch Cars 2 at the drive in movies. Which i wanted to do, it was fun.
But I just can't wait to go home!
I miss you. (if you think I mean you, you might be right, I miss a lot of people right now!)

Eff you Today, Love you Tomorrow

One of my friends made up that line. I hope she one day writes a book on it!

Basically what we mean by it is that often we, as girls, blame ourselves when our guys are in a bad mood. And worry about what we've done. How we can make him happy. Is the relationship going to be okay?

But we've finally come to the realisation:  guys have hormones too, and there are other things that make them unhappy and grumpy in life. They can be grumpy, and it has nothing to do with us.

So when they're grumpy and we realise logically that we've done nothing wrong: we just leave them alone to get over their grumpiness and come back and love them the same as normal the next day.

Eff you today, Love you tomorrow.

L'Oreal

The thing is, There are people who like me for me. People who get to know me and make an effort.

People who I don't think about or care about as often or as much as I do about you.

I think that you're worth it. But I know that I am worth it. If you don't know that, then I'm your loss.

kusses and dusses

kisses:

• Gospel music
• Spunky kids
• Praising God
• Successful (and enjoyable!) team work
• Talking in cars
• Random piano lessons, where I learnt more in 20 min than I did in a year of 'real' lessons.
• Lying on the floor in the dark, listening to Christian music and letting God have the things I've been gripping with all my might.
• Salsa dancing
• Writing out the words you can't say

Disses:

• jealousy
• impatience
• distance- emotional
• decisions
• knowing you can't say the things you want to
• feeling left out
• internet that wont let you post photos on your blog

Joys:

• Knowing the some friends are forever
• Knowing that God has a plan for a future full of hope and peace for the present
• Knowing that I'll never be alone

Until We Both Know.

Ever thought, that being yourself scares guys away? I finally came to the realisation sometime last year, that this is actually a good thing!

If I scare a guy, better now before we get close than later. I'll be myself and If someone likes that, then that is awesome. If not, good riddance.

This song warms my heart. A Girl I know wrote it, and she sung it to the guy she liked, they were friends and on a walk, and she got out her guitar and sang to him. He said it was really awkward, the awesome part of this story is that they are happily married now. She's just put out a CD with the song on it. It's beautiful. Even the weird scary things we do, wont scare away the one God wants us to be with, if we're letting God lead our lives. And that is cool.

I love the lyrics. I associate a lot with it. Though maybe not quite so intensely. Mine is very early days of friendship, but I have so much respect for him. So I really love the second verse.

"I’m afraid that you don’t know
How much I think the world of you
That I care for you so much
That I try not to so much
But here is my predicament
That you’re not mine, you’re just a friend
So I’ll hold onto my heart
Until we are sure

Chorus:
So lets keep our hearts secure in our Fathers hands
As we seek and pray for His will and His plans
I will always love you as my brother and my friend
To only bless you in this time is my earnest prayer
Until we both know which way to go

I respect you
I know that you’re a child of His
I see how He is making your heart so big
And it is beautiful to me
I love all the things that make up who you are
I love your raw knowing of your need for God
It’s inspiring to me"

Song Title: Until We Both Know
Artist: Melissa Otto
Album: Blue Sky
Lyrics from: http://melissaotto.com/blue-sky-lyrics/lyrics-for-until-we-both-know.html
Listen online at: http://melissaotto.com/melissa-ottos-music/blue-sky-album.html

Decisions.

Sometimes it's hard.
Sometimes you have to choose.

Between what feels good and what you can have right now.  The fast food of life-It's easy to get and lets be honest, it tastes pretty good. It often makes you feel sick, but it satisfies the hunger at the time, and fills the craving.

Or waiting, holding out, saving your hunger for the best food ever- something like sushi, that you can eat so much of, to the point of being full and still feel healthy and good.

I've been there many times before, literally and metaphorically.
I'm there metaphorically at the moment.

I could get some fast food right now. Someone attractive, nice, a gentleman, available, right here right now. But although that's quite appealing for these reasons. I guess I'm being judgemental to say it, but I think it'd be fast food. Quite appealing on the surface level, but when I think about the things I need in life, I'm pretty sure that isn't it.

Or I can wait. Wait for the kind of guy I think I will have the healthiest life with. The kind of guy who meets my spiritual and emotional nutritional needs. Not just an unhealthy something because I want something. The thing is, I'm not sure how much longer I have to wait...

It's really tempting to snack in the meantime, but I know what I need to do to have the healthiest and best life. I don't want to ruin my appetite...
I will wait. I will wait. I will wait.

Psalms 27:14
"Wait on the Lord
Be of good courage
And he shall strengthen your heart
Wait I say on the Lord, wait I say on the Lord"


Peace. x.

Quotes of the day...

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.