Cleanin' Out My Closet

I think hoarding is disgusting. I cannot understand it. I think sentimentality and keeping stuff in-case you one-day need it, is annoying. I absolutely HATE clutter and mess. I don't collect anything. I don't buy souvenirs overseas because generally they're a waste of money and just sit and do nothing. 

Yet since I was 10. I have kept certain things. They have moved with me. My boxes of memories. My filing system of my life.

There was a shoe box full of things to do with the schools I went to. From my "Vice Captain" and "Bus monitor" badges from year 6 to my school magazines, signed school shirts.... I even had the lyrics to one of our school songs written down in the box (It was hilarious, walking into my sisters room and starting to sing it opera style as we used to... )

Just a few, bound for the bin

Nelson College for girls Alumni, Sing along with me now... "We give thanks for, the life of our college, we give thanks for the pursuit of knowledge ... thanks for those who, have gone before us, rally rally was their chorus, bold young women, quiet undaunted building pathways for us to tread!" Okay, so that's all I can remember now... other than the latin, but who wants to sing that anyway!

I had a box of photos of everything, from my favourite trees, a photo of where my dog used to sleep before she died. I had a box of pathfinder memories. Camporees. Expeditions. Kayaking expedition 2002 NZ. I even kept the map, obviously that's necessary as I would totally want to freeze my butt off an kayak that far again!


Each of my ex-boyfriends has his own shoe box, inside where letters from him, any presents he gave me, photos etc.


I had at least 17 shoe boxes full of rubbish really. Much of it, I didnt even look at. Just threw it in the bin. Some was really quite interesting. I was able to look back through stuff and see when I first met people.


My best friend Daniela and I have known for a couple years that we both were on the kayaking teen expedition in NZ but we weren't sure if we knew each other. I had a vague recollection but I wasn't sure if it was an actual memory or my imagination. I discovered by looking through my expedition book that yes we did know each other!

I now have 5 shoe boxes in my cupboard. One containing, the photos that survived the cut. Two containing the cooler stuff from my most recent boyfriends (although I did throw out his self portrait, and his photography work he left at my house when he went home to the states as it was too big and useless). Can't remember what's in the other two. Important documents or something. 

Cleaning out all this stuff, started me thinking. Why did I keep it all. It's not exactly a normal thing to do. After a little thinking about it was kind of obvious. Each part of my life, I've kept separate. Safe in it's box. I move to a new place, but I keep all the reminders of it with me. Each happy memory I have in a sense clung to. I've had a certain attachment to the past.


Now it's all gone. I watched as the rubbish truck took away the painting of the ex. and a few of the shoe boxes (the others had to wait until the bin was emptied before they could find their new temporary dwelling place). I felt, slightly sad to let it go. But I feel more free. The top of my cupboard has empty space for once! 


I think that getting rid of these boxes has a greater meaning than that I need more cupboard space. I'm comfortable in who I am now, In God's hands. 


Something like that anyway...